I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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