I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
