He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
