doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
