ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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