the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
