i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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