Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
