hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
