This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
