you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my poor anus
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
