Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
smell my finger.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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