i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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