just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize