I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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