Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
