carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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