it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
