if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate all girls vehemently.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
