**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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