i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
