She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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