By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize