he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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