It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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