i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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