90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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