Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My feet surprised me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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