im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
