why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
this will be a night to untag.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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