there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
