the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
