So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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