OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
