K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize