Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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