ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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