Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize