I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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