no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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