And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
