respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
