That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
