You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i've created a new STD.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
