She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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