It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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