just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
