I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is it penis luge time yet?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
