his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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