I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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