Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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