My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
