If i come over, it means nothing
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
