It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
