I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hippo gnu deer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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