How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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