i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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