I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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