Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Randomize
