I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
