you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize