She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize