she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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