That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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