How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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